I Got Fired...

Do You know this bitch fired me. I have the worst luck with jobs, especially lately. I don't know if you've ever had a serving job, but it's shit! They pay you $2.13/hr Which is nothing, because pay checks are usually void. So, the fact that I do cut work is a blessing to the restaurant owner. In my mind I think, well you're not paying me, so my job is the table first and foremost. Not your pre-shift, Bitch. I know y'all hate that. I hate the restaurant industry, it is so ASS!

Server. The Underpaid Actor.

Server. The Underpaid Actor.

"Hi welcome to Tomfooleries. Hi, I'm Joshua. I'll....(Did this Bitch just stop my greeting to tell me she wants water, no ice, and a cup of hot water?)"

Don't you hate that? Do they have any idea how long it has taken you to perfect your own way at the greeting your restaurant wants you to say?

I got this job because in my interview my smile, presence, and attitude were welcome. We both did a dance, and we both played a part. There was a pretending from the beginning. The moment you walk in the door you put on a facade; get into your costume, check your makeup, check yourSelf, and get into character. Yeah, you're a server, with the potential to make BANK, but let's be real. You hate it, as much as you LOVE the money, you hate the job. You get off late during the week, your weekends are filled with making everyone else happy , only to close at 11, and don't get a chance to leave until damn near one am, because you're a closer. You had six tables walk-in within 30-45mins to close, including a seven-top, and a four-top that walked in, LITERALLY, five minutes before locking the doors. To top in off, the kitchen already shut shit down, and YOU began your closing work. All in hopes of at least breaking $150, especially on the weekend.

You think that's a lot of money? My servers, we understand. The amount of work that goes into a seven-, sometimes, thirteen-hour shift (with no break), we deserve a lot more. If everybody tipped accordingly, servers would do even better. Service standard would also better, I believe.

Before every table it's a deep breath, a "put on your game face" moment. We are human, and can be going through like everyone else. We come to work to escape, to be grateful, and know that we gone get turnt, and spend some money and do it all over again. Because that what we do. We, Servers, our job is to keep you entertained, and mystified. There is so much drama and bullshit that goes on backstage at work, and if we don't play into the illusion you'd lose interest. Then we gotta' be psychic for y'all motha' fucka's. We gauge how you feel, or at least attempt to. Most of you are so disconnected, I'd do better if I had my cell phone at every table and took your orders through FB Messenger. We try to put our best foot forward. Like, literally better than we put on for our family. Treating each table as if it's our last. trying hard not to try too hard. Man, Fuck That! Especially if you not  trying to connect, share the moment.. Damn.

"To Be, or Not to Be?"

TIPS pay bills

To whom this may concern,

You come in. The host greets you wonderfully. Seats you where you choose. I greet you again. Get your drinks. Appetizers. Refills. Modified entrées due to allergies or personal dislikes.  Unfortunately, in all your complex modifications i forget to remove the mustard. I immediately take away the wrong food and i steal another tables because it's made, forcing that table to be even later. Just so I can make sure that you eat. Because I honestly care if you actually eat. Unforgivably, the rest of the experience you give me your ass to kiss and rush me.

I've already apologized sincerely, and focused my attention on you. Also, it's after 10 and we close in less than an hour I still have to clean your table, there's, and the back so i won't get in terrible trouble with over time, and I just want to go home. It'll be after 12 before I get out of here. Now, do you need a box? Why in the world!!! I mean Come'on! Really! I wait on you, I give you excellent service and you leave me with absolutely nothing? Or close to it...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job. I actually do enjoy working with great people, in a great place. It had it's moments, but I have the potential to support a future for my Husbond and I. After all, it is a business. Tipping is optional, however, don't be a penis wrinkle. The standard for the times is 20% of your bill minimum, anything above that is your choice, based on how needy you are and how good your server really is and did they smile at you?

And please, lady's and  gentlemen, your service industry workers are human just like you. Look them in their eyes like a decent adult. Have some respect for yourselves. As we have some for ourselves and for you. I do care about the experience. You can ask my regulars who aren't the best tippers, but I've grown because of them. They push and encourage me to be the greatest me that I can be.

Now, I'm not the greatest server either, but I'm Excellent. I get the job fine and I communicate. I engage and feel connected. This is after all what I'm supposed to do. Also, this is LiFE and I don't want to coast through mindlessly. So I take everything in DEEPLY and thoroughly. Some days are good some days are bad, but I must take care of me and mine.

With LOVE,
A Pissed Server